New Girls On The Block
by paperpenguin
Summary: New Smashers are flooding the Mansion, but when a familiar pair of princesses show up, more than a few conflicts arise... FINISHED!
1. Default Chapter

_A/N: Wecome to my latest story idea! Let me know how you like it!  
  
'blah' = loudspeaker  
  
Disclaimer: I own no part of anything connected to SSBM, SSB, or any of the various other francises involved, so don't sue._

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It was a abnormal day in the Smasher's Mansion. Master Hand and Crazy Hand had suddenly started everyone training for God only knows what, and it was a time to expect the unexpected. Really. That had been Master Hand's advice for the day.  
  
"I don't know how he expects us to expect the unexpected. I mean, wouldn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?" Ness wondered aloud as he waited for his turn to battle.  
  
"You think too much, kid." Samus told him as she lounged in one of the dusty chairs sitting by the teleporters that transported the Smashers to whatever world they would be fighting in that day.  
  
"Don't tell me you're actually going to take his advice?!" Falco exclaimed, plopping down next to Samus. Falco was one of the new additions to the Mansion that Crazy Hand kept bringing in, and as such wasn't quite used to the fights just yet. Still, his attitude helped him to fit in just fine. Rumor around the Mansion was that there were a lot more new fighters on the way, which had everyone excited, seeing as how their identities weren't revealed until they arrived.  
  
"Huh, I wish Crazy would bring some more chicks in here now that he's bringing in all these outsiders, there's only Samus for right now." Captain Falcon muttered, coming out of one of the teleporters where he had been battling Falco.  
  
"Not now, not ever, Falcon." Samus told the lecherous bounty hunter firmly.  
  
A crash from outside the small Teleportation Center where the four of them were sitting made Falco jump. Everyone else just ignored it.  
  
"Did you hear that?!" Falco yelped, jumping up, one hand on his blaster.  
  
"Calm down, it's probably just Master Hand in one of his moods. Either that, or Dr. Mario's been playing with the nitroglycerin again." Ness said calmly, picking up a copy of Genius Quarterly that someone had left on the seat besides him.  
  
Falco sank back down into his seat with a groan. " I am NEVER gonna get used to this place..."  
  
"It gets better after awhile." Captain Falcon told him confidently.  
  
"Speak for yourself! I've been here since the beginning and I STILL haven't gotten completly used to it!" Samus exclaimed.  
  
"Somehow, I don't think you two are helping." Ness told them, recieving a dirty look from Falcon.  
  
Suddenly, Master Hand stomed into the room, obviously ready to use some poor unfortunate Smasher as a moving target, followed lethargically by a much calmer Crazy Hand.  
  
"Betcha it's Yoshi." Ness whispered to Falco. Yoshi was not the brightest Smasher around, and as such had a tendency to get on Master Hand's nerves the most. Still, he was an okay fighter, so Master and Crazy kept him around.  
  
"WHERE ARE LINK AND MARIO?! I've checked all over the Mansion! When I find them..!" Master Hand roared.  
  
"They're scheduled for a suprise team battle versus two mystery characters." Crazy Hand told the Smashers as he searched for the intercom that ran throughout the entire Mansion in order to call the errant Smashers down to the Teleportation Center.  
  
An excited buzz quickly started. Everyone, even the newer Smashers, knew that mystery fighters meant more newbies. The question was, what world were they from? Most newbies were known by an existing Smasher for one reason or another.  
  
Several minutes later, Link and Mario rushed into the tiny Teleportation Center as well, squeezing everyone inside even further.  
  
"What's going on? Is today a training day?" Link asked, obviously still half asleep.  
  
Master Hand struggled to keep from hurting the Hylian. "Yes! Weren't you listening this morning? You and Mario have a team fight versus two mystery characters!"  
  
"Great. As if bringing Ganondorf and the 'King Of The Koopas' here wasn't bad enough." Mario groaned.  
  
"Oh, stop whining. You got new battlegrounds in the bargain, so what's the problem?" Crazy Hand said. Master Hand just grunted and shoved the duo into the teleporters before they could say another word.  
  
Link and Mario reappeared in an entirely new place.  
  
"Ooh, new level..." Link said, looking around.  
  
'We're calling it Mushroom Kingdom II. Now get ready to fight the mystery fighters!' The loudspeaker built into all the levels blared as two dark figures materialized opposite Mario and Link. As they moved into the light, Link noticed something familiar about one of the fighters.  
  
"Princess Zelda?! Is that you?" Link yelped, stumbling backwards in confusion.  
  
'GO!'  
  
Indeed, it was the Princess of Hyrule herself, along with another girl who looked strangely similar.  
  
"Peach! What's going on? Did I miss a memo or something?" Mario shouted, taken completly by suprise.  
  
Peach waved cheerily at him before pulling a large vegetable from the ground and tossing it at Mario. Zelda waved also before pulling out a spell and setting Link on fire. During all the chaos, Zelda teleported with Fayore's Wind behind Link and grabbed ahold of his shirt.  
  
"Suprised?" she asked, before tossing him off the edge of the stage.  
  
Meanwhile, Mario was trying to figure out what he should do while still trying to avoid Peach's attacks. Finally, the princess lost patience and let fly with a frying pan to the head. Mario sailed offscreen.  
  
Back in the Teleportation Center, everyone had a different opinion of how the fight went.  
  
"Alright! More babes!" Captain Falcon shouted as Samus gave him a death glare.  
  
"What?! They didn't even DO anything! What are we paying them for?" Master Hand shouted.  
  
"You don't pay us. Speaking of which, can I have a raise?" Ness asked hopefully as Master Hand gave him a Look.  
  
"Hahaha! This is even better than I had hoped!" Crazy Hand declared, obviously pleased with himself.  
  
"Huh. Those girls are pretty good..." Falco said thoughtfully as the two newest additions to the Smasher's Mansion walked out of the teleporters triumphantly. Lagging behind, the rather lost Link and Mario stood, scratching their heads.  
  
"What..." Link began.  
  
"...Is going on?" Mario finished for him.

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_Wow. That was a lot longer than I thought. Oh well. Tell me if that was too much for one Chapter, alright? R&R please!_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Glad somebody likes this! I don't normally do pairings in my fics(I can't write good romance, okay?), but I thought it'd work better if I used Link and Mario, seeing as how they're the most obvious people who are close to the Princesses. Besides, random humor really isn't my style...But you guys clicked on the story so you could laugh at a few jokes, not to listen to me getting off topic. At least, I hope you came for the humor...  
  
Disclaimer: Sorry to disappoint you, but guess what? I still own nothing._

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After Peach and Zelda's explosive entrance into the Mansion, they were regarded as quite competent fighters. After all, they DID defeat Link and Mario already. Most newbies took awhile to beat one of the existing Smashers in combat. The only two people unhappy about the new arrivals were Link and Mario, who were trying 24/7 to talk the girls out of staying.  
  
"Look, this is no place for a couple of ladies to stay!" Link told Zelda adamantly as they went to get something to eat from the Kitchen/Dining Room.  
  
"Isn't that Samus person female too?" Zelda asked suspiciously.  
  
"Yeah, but she doesn't count!" Link argued, not noticing that the bounty hunter was standing a few feet away from them.  
  
KLONK!  
  
"Don't mind him. Obviously, Link's not used to female company." Samus told a rather suprised Zelda as she walked over to the cupboards, leaving a dazed Link slumped down on the ground next to the splintered Home-Run Bat Samus had thwacked him with.  
  
"Er, are you sure Link'll be all right?" Zelda asked timidly, looking down at the semi-conscious swordsman.  
  
"Just give him one of those Maxim Tomato hybrid things that Dr. Mario is breeding." Fox advised her as he walked in, pointing to what looked like a cross between a tomato plant and a Pirahna Plant that looked ready to snack on anyone stupid enough to get close to it.  
  
"See? It's not exactly safe around here." Link told her as he got up, gingerly rubbing his head and looking pointedly over at Samus as he did so.  
  
"Hey, you brought it upon yourself!" Fox said, holing up his hands in self-defence as Samus nodded in agreement.  
  
"Not to mention this place is full of weirdos..." Link growled.  
  
"Everyone seems normal enough to me, not to mention friendly." Zelda shot back, her hands on her hips.  
  
Just then, Yoshi ran by with a jar of mayonaise, followed closely by Kirby.  
  
"Give it here! I need that for my sandwich!" Kirby shouted, attempting to suck up the jar but getting Yoshi instead.  
  
"It's mine! Get your own!" Came a muffled shout from inside Kirby.  
  
Fox sighed and pulled a small cardboard box from his pocket and waved it in front of Kirby's mouth. Almost immediatly, Yoshi pulled himself from Kirby's gullet and swallowed the entire box whole, dropping the jar, which broke on the hard wooden floor.  
  
"Mmm..cardboard..." Yoshi murmered to himself as he digested the box.  
  
Kirby picked up the broken jar to see mold oozing from the shattered jar.  
  
"Uh, Yoshi? This mayo is all moldy." Kirby said, obviously confused.

"Oh, that's another one of Dr. Mario's 'kitchen improvements'. It still needs work..." Samus told Kirby as she waited for her toast.  
  
"You mean after all that, you don't even want the mayonaise anymore? Jeez, how dense can you get?" Yoshi said, speeding out the door, leaving the others in the dust.  
  
Kirby stared at the jar for a few minutes before throwing his hands up in the air in defeat and tossed the jar to Mr. Game And Watch, who was over in the back of the kitchen making sausages. Even though Mr. Game And Watch was a newbie, he had been placed on permanent kitchen duty for an indefinent amount of time, simply because he hadn't spoken a single sensical word yet. Mr. Game And Watch looked at the jar for a few seconds before shrugging and poured the mold on his sausages. After all, they were out of butter.  
  
"Remind me not to have any sausages tonight..." Fox muttered under his breath.  
  
"Seems perfectly normal to me." Zelda told the swordsman smugly as she headed out the door as well, nearly running into Peach.  
  
"Don't tell me Link's trying to talk you out of this as well!" Peach exclaimed upon running into the other princess.  
  
Zelda nodded sagely. "Everyone else is quite nice, but Link seems to think I'm not strong enough to fight with the boys. I mean, really! I fought Ganondorf, for Din's sake! I can take care of myself, and then some!"  
  
"So does a certain plumber, but I have an idea that'll be sure to show them we can handle a few measly fights!" Peach said slyly, her eyes sparkling as the two hurried off to discuss their plans.

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_Well, that's it for Part 2. R&R please while you wait for the next part!_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I'm really suprised my modest little story is doing so well! Maybe after this, I'll write something about the Smashers and the 12 Labors of Hercules....  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for a few semi-original ideas that snuck in here when I wasn't looking and/or not paying attention to what I'm doing._

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_The next morning at breakfast, an importand discovery was made.  
  
"Hey everybody! Milk tastes a lot better when it's fresh!" Kirby called out to the various Smashers sitting around him, who looked at him like he had grown a nose.  
  
After breakfast, however, a note was found pinned to the message board that had recently been hung in the Commons Area.  
  
"Huh..apparently two 'mystery fighters' are gonna go up against Master and Crazy at noon. It's a shame, really. Don't they know those two always cheat?" Fox said, scanning the small scrap of paper.  
  
"Oh well. Wanna go watch?" Falco asked.

"Sure, I got nothing better to do."

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As noon approached, Mario ran through the cavernous Mansion in an attempt to go find Peach so they could watch a pair of so-called 'mystery fighters' battle against Master Hand and Crazy Hand, narrowly avoiding Yoshi's attempts to liberate more condiments from the kitchen, a falling block of ice that Popo and Nana had been trying to carve and a gigantic stone ball rolling down the hallways towards him at top speed. However, a wrinkle in the carpet caused Mario to fall flat on his face--straight into the girls' locker room.  
  
As Link walked past the locker rooms to get to the big mystery fight, the sounds of a scuffle could be heard coming from the girls' locker room. Suddenly, a figure dressed in red shot out the door, bowling over Link in an attempt to get out of the way.  
  
"Y'know, there's a better peephole in the Laundry Room..." Link grunted as he sat up, rubbing his head.  
  
"Look, I just need to find Peach! I want her to see what Master and Crazy are REALLY like. It's not my fault some weird girl in there got a little touchy..." Mario said, trying to run off. Link held him back however.  
  
"Maybe Peach and Zelda CAN hold their own around here. I mean, Zelda DID go after Ganondorf with me. And I WAS being a bit of a jerk recently..." Link mused.  
  
"As opposed to being a jerk all the time?" Roy interjected as he passed the two senior Smashers, recieving a scowl from the Hylian. Roy was yet another newbie, but his slight insanity helped him to fit in perfectly with all the others.  
  
"Whatever. Let's just go to the fight, alright? We can deal with Peach and Zelda later." Link decided, striding off in the direction of the Teleportation Room, which had the only viewing area for the fights. It was also the smallest room in the Mansion.  
  
Link and Mario got to the room just as the combatants were beginning to take their places on the stage. However, unlike most fights, nobody recognized the two figures opposite Master Hand and Crazy Hand.  
  
"Huh. I'll bet they're some new versions of the wire frames. Crazy's already done one upgrade on those things." Ness muttered to Mewtwo, one of the stranger newbies that had arrived.  
  
"I wouldn't put it past those two to replace US with virtual characters. With a little tweaking, nobody'd be able to tell the difference." Nana put in, Popo nodding vigorously.  
  
"Hey, just what did you mean when you said there was a strange girl in the locker room?" Link asked Mario curiously. One of the fighters down on the stage looked eerily familiar, but with Marth's tiara blocking his view, Link couldn't be sure.  
  
"Well, she was dressed in these weird, kinda worn clothes and there was this eye emblem on the front of her shirt. Oh, and you couldn't see anything but her eyes and nose and a little bit of hair. Looked a little like Zelda, except the hair was shorter and the eyes were different..." Mario said, trying to think back. 

Realization struck Link like a thunderbolt. Of course, he might have just stepped on Pikachu's tail. "That IS Zelda! She likes to use disguises like that. And I'll bet she dragged Peach into this as well!"  
  
"WHAT?! Master and Crazy are currently undefeated because they CHEAT! Peach and Zelda will get killed! We've got to get them out of there!" Mario exclaimed.  
  
Roy, who was standing right in back of them, gave the twosome a strange look. "That's the Princesses up there? Well, no wonder they kept their identities secret if that's your reaction to them fighting the Gruesome Twosome out there!"  
  
"Wow, Roy is right for once." Link said, and was promptly kicked in the shins by the pyro.  
  
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Mario asked, all set to head for the exit.  
  
"We should just see how the girls do this time. It's the honorable thing to do!" Link told him calmly. Mario just looked at him.  
  
"Well, that and the door's completely blocked." Link added.  
  
"Shut up, willya? The fight's about to start!" Bowser whirled around to face them angrily.  
But then again, Bowser was always angry anyway.  
  
'3..2..1..GO!'  
  
The blare from the loudspeaker made everyone jump. The fight was about to begin!

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_Ok, next chapter-Peach and Zelda versus Master Hand and Crazy Hand! R&R till then, please!_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Yay, more reviews! Always an excellent incentive to write better Chapters.  
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_the pen pals: Like I've said before, I don't write good romance, it comes out too corny. I really wasn't planning on making a big deal out of the Mario/Peach Link/Zelda pairings(if you could call them that...) I'm also aware of the obvious character problems. There's really not a good way to write the fic having the Princesses there all along, so I, ah, improvised a little when it came to that part. Thanx for the kind words though, most appreciated!  
  
Bballstar42: What can I say, I like to work with Roy!  
  
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_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Yet._

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_Zelda was a little nervous with this whole idea of Peach's. Scratch that, she was VERY nervous. She was out here, facing down what could very well be the two most powerful beings around to prove a point in a disguise she was almost sure Link would recognize right away. Then again, it had taken him FOREVER to guess who Sheik really was the first time she had used it...  
  
Peach, on the other hand(no pun intended), seemed perfectly fine with the whole idea of lying to Mario and risking her own neck to make a statement. She had chosen to be 'Nurse Peach' for the fight, dressed entirely in white instead of pink. Personally, Zelda thought that wasn't the best disguise Peach could have chosen; everyone would be able to guess right away who she was. Besides, it was nearly impossible to get stains out of white clothing. Just look at her Sheik outfit.  
  
"Don't worry, Zel-I mean, Sheik, this'll be a piece of cake. Look, those two are already at 300 damage." Peach said reasurringly.  
  
"I dunno, those damage meters look different than usual..." Zelda said, frowning. It was true, the damage meters for the Hands were already filled up, and there was different letters next to them for some reason. But before the princess could figure out was was going on, she heard the announcer call out the beginning of the match and sprung into action.  
  
Back in the Teleportation Room, Ness peered at the small screen intently.  
  
"Y'know, I could swear that girl in the white is the Princess Peach..." Ness muttered, his face screwed up in what vaugely resembled a look of intense concentration on his face.  
  
"No it's not! Peach always wears PINK, not white! What are ya, blind?" Captain Falcon declared, thwacking Ness over the head.  
  
"By the way, you shouldn't swear." Kirby told the young psychic, grinning mischeviously.  
  
Samus rolled her eyes. "That joke is about as old as the mayonaise Yoshi stole from you the other day."  
  
"So's that one." Roy pointed out helpfully.  
  
Before what could and most likely would escalate from a mere quarrel into a brawl bigger than the mystery battle, the sounds of the on-screen fight distracted them all.  
  
Peach had just narrowly avoided being crushed by the two Hands as they smashed into each with incredible force. Zelda managed to avoid being hit as well, but used the time that she had used by jumping to gather a good number of razor sharp needles in the palm of her hand. As she landed, she sent the stinging barrage straight into Master Hand.  
  
"Bet that'd be great for sewing..." Peach murmered as she reached down into the hard, metallic floor and pulled up a vegetable nearly the size of DK's head. Balancing lightly on one foot, Peach hurled the turnip at Master Hand with all her strength. She hit Master Hand, but the force of her throw allowed the giant vegetable to bounce off of him and nailed Crazy Hand as well. Before either brother could react, Zelda whipped out a long length of chain and began whirling it around her head. Suddenly, without warning, Zelda let go, causing the chain to wrap itself around Crazy Hand. She pulled hard, squeezing Crazy tight before he managed to break loose.  
  
"Nice. That ought to bring his damage meter up a few more points." Peach said approvingly, and Zelda grinned back. She was actually having fun with this, despite her earlier fears. Before Zelda could do anything else, a hard blow from behind sent her all the way across the stage. Crazy Hand had quickly attacked Zelda in return for her chain attack. Using Fayore's Wind, Zelda just barely made it back to the edge, where she held on for dear life. However, while Zelda's damage meter shot up to 112, Crazy Hand's showed 203, LESS than what he had had before.  
  
Outraged, Peach marched straight up to Crazy Hand. "How could you recover damage by being attacked? Cheaters never prosper, you know!"  
  
"That's for me to know and for you to find out. You should be proud, most Smashers can't even get this fa--" Crazy Hand said smugly, but Peach hauled off and whacked him with a golf club before he could say another word. The attack wasn't overly powerful, but Zelda chose that moment to pull herself up, lashing out viciously with her left foot as Peach hit him with the golf club.  
  
Scowling, Master Hand muttered something unintelligible to Crazy, who nodded vigorously. Each moving to a seperate side of the stage, they began moving in unision, creating a hypnotic effect. Half asleep, the two princesses stared sleepily at their opponents. Suddenly, the Hands began rushing towards each other in an attempt to squish the princesses. Now wide awake, Peach and Zelda had a few close calls, but managed to escape without any serious damage. That is, until the edge of Sheik's veil caught on Master Hand. As he pulled away from Crazy Hand, the veil came with him.  
  
"What are YOU doing here?!" Master Hand hissed angrily, giving Zelda a look that could have frozen water. Crazy Hand couldn't belive it either. A couple of PRINCESSES having the nerve to challenge them! Peach took the time to finish him off with a move of her own creation that she had begun to call the Peach Bomber and a few good kicks. As his meter clicked down to zero, only then did Crazy fly off-screen, leaving only Master Hand.  
  
Zelda then switched back to her regular form, seeing as how her Sheik disguise had already been ruined and used Din's Fire on Master Hand, then finished him off with Nayru's Love. Breathing hard but victorious, Zelda and Peach tried out what Link had referred to as a taunt amid the roars of the crowd around around them.  
  
Meanwhile, the jam-packed Teleportation Center was a scene of mass chaos. Everyone was crowded near the teleporters, awaiting the new champions. Nothing could be heard above the various shouting, and Kirby had somehow managed to inhale the jewel on Ganondorf's forehead.  
  
Ness was bouncing up and down like a ping pong ball, bragging to anyone who'd listen about how he had known the person in white was Peach all along. "See? See!? I toldja it was her!! Next time you'll HAVE to belive me!" Ness shouted in Captain Falcon's ear at top volume as Dr. Mario rolled his eyes.  
  
"I was aware that she was Nurse Peach the entire time! I worked with her for awhile, for heaven's sake!" Dr. Mario shouted at them both, Ness's excitement beginning to grate heavily on his nerves as well as Falcon's.  
  
"I can't belive I nearly fell for that disguise of hers AGAIN!" Link grumbled half-heartedly, attempting to lean against a wall.  
  
"I could have accomplished that as well if I had wanted it so..." Mewtwo muttered under his breath.  
  
Bowser nudged Mario. "Heh, maybe it'll be your girlfriend rescuing YOU next time."  
  
Amid all the excitement, the loudspeakers blared above all else as the two newest Smashers emerged from the teleporters to wild cheering.  
  
'And the new Super Smash Brothers, er, _Sisters_ Champions are--Princess Peach and Princess Zelda!'

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_I know, this one wasn't very funny...oh well, R&R now please!_


	5. Epilogue

_A/N: I would've included this in Chapter 4, but I didn't want to give you guys a really long Chapter to read. Fight scenes really do take up a lot of space..._

_Disclaimer: I WISH I owned SSBM, but I own nothing but the game itself._

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_"Well?"  
  
"Come on, don't make us _champions_ force you." Zelda said teasingly, her hands on her hips.  
  
"Okay, okay! No need to pull the 'champions' card. You've inspired everyone else to break your records, you know." Link said, putting his hands up in defence.  
  
"So say it already!" Peach said impatiently, tapping one foot on the dusty wood floors.  
  
"We were wrong; you two are capable of taking care of yourselves, we shouldn't have tried to protect you like that. Happy?' Mario recited in a monotonous voice.  
  
Samus stuck her head around the corner. "Hey, are you guys gonna help with this whole 'victory feast' idea or not? If you don't hurry, there won't be any ingredients left. Kirby's already smallowed an entire bottle of vinegar by accident."  
  
"Coming, coming!" Peach cried, running off down the hallway with Mario. Zelda stayed behind with Link for a moment.  
  
"Thanks." Zelda said softly, leaning over to gently kiss Link on the cheek, before heading off with the other Smashers.

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_Well, that's it. Please ignore the fluffy ending, the shortness and the humorlessness of this last Chapter. This was the only way I could think of to end the fic at least a little seriously. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it! R&R now please! _


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